A Test to Judge How Bad Your Parents Were

We might think back to our pasts and give our carers a score out of ten to measure how things went. It isn’t unfair or mean sometimes – in the privacy of our own minds – to hold people to account. Finish the sentence, “My Parent made me’ below and give each a score out of 10.

My parent made me:
– feel deeply loved and wanted.
– Was often highly attuned to what I actually felt
– Was able to tolerate a degree of innocent disobedience
– Was authentically happy about my success
– Lacked sadistic impulses
– Avoided imposing too many of their own issues on me
– Didn’t demand to be admired
– Wasn’t too exciting
– Knew how to play
– Had boundaries
– Tolerated dissent
– Took an interest in my ‘small’ joys and pains

We don’t need a score of a hundred and twenty to be robust, but if things were to drop much below sixty, there might be grounds for a good deal of reflection and sorrow.

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“Some people assume that you can’t really say what a good — or indeed a bad — parent actually is. But we don’t agree. So we’ve designed a checklist of what we think makes up a good parent…”


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Produced in collaboration with:

Gemma Green-Hope
Sarah Hope

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

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